1: Why Public Speaking Matters
Public speaking is the act of communicating to an audience. This could be a one on one recorded interview that will be streamed on YouTube, or a conference presentation to hundreds of delegates in the same room. The common concern in all public speaking is the exposure of the self to social or professional judgment. As soon as you put one person in front of a group of people, it implies that person has authority on a shared concern. This is as true for the CFO who presents to their board, as when that same CFO coaches their local basketball team.
So public speaking is inevitable if you live long enough. If you have something that will please, entertain or educate the people you are talking to then you can see this as an act of service that needs to be honored for their sake. If a wedding speech is mumbled and fails to share the love, the humor, the history and the future as desired, the audience’s need and the event’s need is not being fully served. If a toast is required at a dinner party, the toast is serving the people who are being celebrated. We want that to work, and our nerves tell us that we care. We care when we are speaking to the board. We care when we speak to the sales team. We care that our careers continue to advance.
The fear of judgment is no small thing. The fear of being socially shamed or “canceled” activates the same parts of the brain as the fear of death. This shouldn’t be surprising from an evolutionary point of view. After all, we are soft shelled mammals that have survived hostile environments, diseases, and disasters through social cooperation. If you have ever seen an episode of “Alone” where contestants are placed in the wilderness to survive on their own, you will know that even the most well prepared can tap out through mistakes, luck, or psychological stress. Humans need other humans to survive and thrive. Putting yourself in front of others activates that fear in order to keep you safe from being rejected by your tribe. It’s the feeling an actor gets before walking on stage, or a soccer player taking a penalty in extra time.
Also the physiological markers of anxiety are no different than the markers for excitement - raised heart rate, galvanic skin response (sweat), surge of cortisol and loosening of the bowels. All are a preparation for action. The only difference is the anticipation of likely positive or negative outcomes. In short, the only difference is Mindset.
And here’s the thing, sport psychology studies have shown that whilst envisioning a positive outcome may or may not improve achieving the goal, anticipating a negative outcome increases the likelihood of missing the goal.
It's a frequently cited statistic that only 20% of people consider themselves confident public speakers. Most of these were not born with a natural skill, and most of them have got to that point through practice and mental curation. Like them, you will find making friends with discomfort will lead to the greatest rewards. Taking on the attitudes and perspectives of these speakers and learning some of the practical tools can boost everything from social confidence to professional advancement.
So it makes sense then to improve the quality of your inner dialogue and get an accurate picture of what you have that helps and what gaps in skill or preparation you have in your control, that you can address. This is a much more pleasant alternative to imagining catastrophic outcomes. The future is always an act of imagination, and if your body is activated your brain may interpret the sensation of fear and simply find a reason quicker than an internet search.
In this series of blogs I will explore different aspects of public speaking. I will suggest different and perhaps more accurate ways of approaching public speaking. Each post will finish off with a simple practical exercise or two, that will help with physical, vocal and mindset improvement.
Your first exercise is one that you can practice right now and with a bit of care, without anyone noticing. It is a breathing exercise that will calm your limbic system down with every breath. It’s reassuring the child that there is no troll.
Breathe in sharply through your nose for three counts
Hold your breath for 5 counts.
Slowly release your breath for 7 counts or more.
The amount of time on each breath is less important. It works best when the out-breath is longer than the held breath which is longer than the in-breath. The longer you can make the out-breath without forcing it the more you will notice you are relaxing.
If you can’t be heard, try an outbreath making a ‘shhh’ or ‘ssss’ sound with your mouth - or even a hum, which has been shown to have a calming effect on its own. Of course discontinue if it makes you feel unbalanced in any way - unlikely if you are following the 3,5,7 ratio - but if that is happening try just humming a single low note instead.
Head over to my Youtube channel and see a demonstration short here.
