7: What’s with Stories?
Well, even starting with that question is the beginning of a story. It pulls you in because you are interested or entertained by the observation that importance of storytelling in Public Speaking has become commonplace.
Will I push back against the zeitgeist?
What if I tell you that if out of the blue, you suddenly clapped your hands, it would have a similar effect on people around you? After the surprise they would instantly look for the cause or purpose behind it, and perhaps even wait for more to unfold.
Just as you are waiting now.
And here is your reward:
I started this Article with an “Open Loop” in the form of a question. Open loops are the foundation of all storytelling. You see, anything that creates an “open loop” gets our attention, as there is a deep seated, very human desire to close the loop and return to a place of new, or reassured, understanding. You are already familiar with it YouTube clickbait titles. They can inflammatory statements or loaded questions and every one opens a loop that you feel compelled to resolve.
A theory of what is really going on…
This desire for creating order (known) out of chaos (unknown) goes incredibly deep, and I suspect is a major driver for human survival, development and learning (please add any reference to papers that support or refute this in the comments!)
It is impossible to exist in a world where all things we feel and perceive are of equally high importance - we have to filter, triage to what’s necessary. For instance, as you read this, the chair you are sitting on disappears from your consciousness... until I bring it up, that is.
Humans survive by accurately “mapping” the world and discriminating and focusing on what is useful and beneficial - and ignoring what is not. Those things that best preserve our “body budget” - the default requirement to be in a surplus of available energy - get more focus.
Stories mean that we don’t have to explore a route that already exists. Instead we can benefit from a map. We don’t need to experience the hero’s journey ourselves. Instead at a fractional “cost”, we mirror the experiences of the hero whose ups and downs we felt as we watched from our seat. Later we can consciously or unconsciously follow the same map that helped the hero succeed. This is as true for a superman comic as a public speaking coach.
The unmistakable relief of tension that comes with closing an open loop is catharsis - which can be accompanied by any other number of emotions. It is something well known in Hypnosis (See nested loops) and as we will see later, emotions are what seal the deal.
With confidence in the value of your story, your ability to tell it, and the promise of a satisfactory outcome your presentation benefits from story. Story helps make people lean in to listen, to want to know more.
But how do you start? So many options! Let's break the process down to its core:
The “Why” of saying anything comes down to Relationships.
When you speak you are attempting to change or reinforce the relationship the listener has with the subject so that it matches yours. This can often be identified as a deep and pre-linguistic relationship that aligns with other shared values - something that people would perhaps describe as an “unspoken” agreement.
As long as there is the belief in a shared value, it is relatively easy to convince someone to buy into your perspective or take in information in the short term. This is the backbone of most advertising. But the most persistent, and most profound ideas and motivations are ones that last for years - even a lifetime. For thousands of years that has been done through stories.
Now, I am not saying that every sales meeting should be a life changing epic, but identifying the core relationship you are trying to align everyone with, keeps things simple and brings the human into what could be an otherwise dry message.
However obvious, it’s useful to go back to the important themes and characters: in Sales and Marketing that normally means the relationship to the client, the product, service and personal and company financial success. These relationships can be explicit or implicit in any opening, but the desired relationships should be explicit by the end of the presentation.
What do you want people to know and believe that you know and believe that will achieve your goal?
Take some time to consider what will be the final takeaway statement at the end of the presentation. In most speeches in drama you can tell what the speech is about by looking at the last few lines. The same should be true of your presentation.
Your purpose in a sales meeting may be to have your team feel the same relationships to the product and the quality of service to the client, as you do, in order to drive an increase in sales.
For example:
A client is a human who, like you, values time because it’s the one resource we can never create (Core relationship: Time)
The product saves a person time so therefore good (Product Relationship.)
Helping a client to have more free time is the act of service that helps them choose something good for them (Service Relationship)
Serving clients by showing how they can save time will increase sales. (Sales Relationship)
“Therefore”’ and “But” - Thanks to South Park
“whenever you can exchange your and’s with but’s or therefores, it makes for better writing” — Trey Parker
Knowing the implicit relationships you need your audience to sign up to, means you can figure out what the heart of the story is that you need to tell, the real context. Applying the Simple South Park rule will give you more creative options and turn what can be a list of facts and a desired outcome, into a story.
Statement: A client is a human who, like you, values time because it’s the one resource we can never create
Therefore: A product that saves a person time is therefore good
But: Helping a client to have more free time is the act of service that helps them choose something good for them
Therefore: Serving clients by showing how they can save time will increase sales.
Here's a quick example of just one way you could use Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s approach.
Start with an open question - an open loop based on the most important shared value (Time).
“What time is it? [wait for a response] So that’s 3 hours until you go home. Who here is set to finish what you expected to this morning, or are you delayed? [wait for a response]
Ask them to close the loop themselves
“If you could finish work 20 minutes earlier, arrive home 30 minutes sooner - what would you do with that extra two and a half hours a week - That’s about five days a year?
Open and close the loop yourself.
“Wouldn’t that be a gift to get that extra time? Someone makes their son’s basketball game. Comes home before their partner to prepare dinner for a change. Finish a thing even though there were delays.”
But…(open loop)
“If your prospect feels like the product is wasting their time they won’t be interested - you wouldn't be interested, either, right?
Therefore.. (Close loop)
“If you lead with the idea you are helping them out and respect their time, they will be more inclined convert.”
Satisfactory ending…(Catharsis)
“Then none of us are wasting our time and you can go home at the end of the day, feeling good that you helped someone else and hitting your sales targets. “
Although this is very rough and basic you can see how easy it is to frame the facts in a story. I didn't give the client a name, but the human was there all the same.
Even if you have a burden of facts and figures, by drilling down to the human relationship to those facts, and using relationship context, “but and therefore”, those figures now have a basic narrative. As hypnotists know, stories can get past the critical mind that might otherwise reject whatever someone is proposing. Perhaps most importantly, stories bring a sense of community, of shared experience. And the bigger the challenge the more important the sense of shared relationships become. Think of every before-battle speech you have ever heard.
Ok so, why are we so obsessed with stories?
In short it’s a hardwired way of making information memorable, giving meaning to facts, and providing direction and guidance that might otherwise be rejected reject or forgotten Stories are how humans persuade others to compare their own experience and values, update or change them, to join in a shared perspective.
So, next time you’re in front of a group with a message to share or an action you want taken, get back to first principles. Recognize the core relationships with things and people that you want your listeners to have, and tell them a story to help them get there.
Exercise:
Think of a recent meeting or presentation or even one you might have coming up. Think of how you would begin a presentation with:
The core relationship or perspective you want them to feel the same way about as you do?
A question or two to “open loops”
Only using “But” or “therefore” to support bringing people over to your perspective.
Ending on a satisfying solution that delivers your perspective that closes all the loops.
If you’ve read this far, perhaps it makes sense to subscribe to my newsletter and waitlist and you’ll receive three short guided hypnosis sessions. These will help you become your own source of reassurance and calm; focus on public speaking as an act of service; and quiet a busy brain to ensure a good night's sleep - great for each stage in your preparation.
Alternatively complete this quiz to zero in on areas you need to focus or book a discovery call . Let's find out how we can work together.
